What became clear early on was that the child’s behavior wasn’t the root issue, it was the expression of something deeper, both in the child and in the mother.

At some point during our sessions, I gently asked the client if she would feel comfortable letting me meet her daughter directly so I could understand what was going on in her. The client agreed and told her daughter that I would be joining to play and draw together.

During the video call, I kept things light and playful at first, allowing the child to warm up naturally, trust, and feel safe. After a little while, I asked her if she liked to do some paintings. Then I asked, “When you feel happy, what color would you choose?” She immediately said, “Yellow.” Then I asked her to paint a happy picture, and she painted a happy sun.

Next, I asked her to think about when she feels sad and what color she would choose. She chose blue and then painted a picture reflecting that feeling.

Finally, I asked her about anger, and she immediately took the black color. She began to draw with a lot of pressure and wildly, and then suddenly took the whole paper, squeezed it in her hands, and threw it away. And I knew right away, she was experiencing repressed anger.

Her daughter had become a big sister months earlier. She loved the baby, but whenever she was around her, she would squeeze her teeth. Most probably, like all small children when they get another sibling, she felt jealous, unseen, frustrated, and overwhelmed, but could not express it.

So I introduced a playful practice where she could safely express anger. We used physical movement, pillows, sounds.

The true transformation began when the mother realized:

“My child is expressing something I haven’t allowed myself to feel.”

Her daughter wasn’t the problem.

Her daughter was the mirror.